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November 25 2014

wtfpantera
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wtfpantera
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wtfpantera
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November 08 2014

16:52
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16:52

pishtacos:

if there is one piece of relationship advice i could give to straight women, it’s this:

you’re not his mother. you don’t have to take his tantrums and walk him through basic shit. i know women are taught that they have to be nurturing and all that but it’s absolutely not your responsibility to “teach him to be a better person”.

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theoddcollection:

Piranha skeleton.

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erisiana:

"THEN STOP"

"NO, YOU STOP!"

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16:49

http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/98/Jul/gazebo.html

enki2:

The Tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo

aurienne@webpixie.com (April Walters)
(chuckle)


The Tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo
by Richard Aronson (aronson@sierratel.com)

…In the early seventies, Ed Whitchurch ran “his game,” and one of the participants was Eric Sorenson. Eric plays something like a computer. When he games he methodically considers each possibility before choosing his preferred option. If given time, he will invariably pick the optimal solution. It has been known to take weeks. He is otherwise, in all respects, a superior gamer.

Eric was playing a Neutral Paladin in Ed’s game. He was on some lord’s lands when the following exchange occurred:


ED: You see a well groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you
see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: (Pause) It’s white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About 50 yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: (Pause) It’s about 30 ft [≈ The length of a London Bus, Routemaster] across, 15 ft high, with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect good on it.
ED: It’s not good, Eric. It’s a gazebo.
ERIC: (Pause) I call out to it.
ED: It won’t answer. It’s a gazebo.
ERIC: (Pause) I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it
respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric, it’s a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow (roll to hit). What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC: (Pause) Wasn’t it wounded?
ED: OF COURSE NOT, ERIC! IT’S A GAZEBO!
ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a +3 arrow!
ED: It’s a gazebo, Eric, a GAZEBO! If you really want to try to
destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you
could try to burn it, but I don’t know why anybody would even try.
It’s a @#$%!! gazebo!
ERIC: (Long pause. He has no axe or fire spells.) I run away.
ED: (Thoroughly frustrated) It’s too late. You’ve awakened the gazebo.
It catches you and eats you.
ERIC: (Reaching for his dice) Maybe I’ll roll up a fire-using mage so
I can avenge my Paladin.

At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored a modicum of order by explaining to Eric what a gazebo is. Thus ends the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo. It could have been worse; at least the gazebo wasn’t on a grassy gnoll.

[Note - reprinted by permission of the author - ed.]

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shopjeen:

😏😏 NEW MUGS!! 💖💖 SHOPJEEN.com!

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notshani:

this is what happens when student activists play cards against humanity….. 

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hugogreene:


Steel engraving by Gustave Doré for an 1884 folio edition of “The Raven” by Edgar Allan Poe.  See the complete illustrated poem at Project Gutenberg

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wtfpantera
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wtfpantera
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rockleah:

kawaii-obama-san:

runicbasso:

did-you-kno:

Photographer Michel Denis-Huot, who captured these amazing pictures in Kenya , said he was astounded by what he saw:

“These three brothers (cheetahs) have been living together since they left their mother at about 18 months old,’ he said. 
‘On the morning we saw them, they seemed not to be hungry, walking quickly but stopping sometimes to play together. 
‘At one point, they met a group of impala who ran away. But one youngster was not quick enough and the brothers caught it easily’.”

Then these scenes followed

image

image

image

image

and then they just walked away without hurting him.

DAMN, NATURE! YOU CONSIDERATE! 

AWW

*realizes how much humans are shit*

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koreandrawer:

Yeah so there was a pumpkin on fire in my science class today

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